M had been unceremoniously booted from our high school band due to an unfortunate smoke bomb incident in the stands during a football game. D had also lost band privileges during the aforementioned incident. Consequently, D & M were going to the game via M's rocking cool Nissan Pulsar, with yours truly riding shotgun.
M,D, and I enjoyed a perfectly fun game, hanging with all of our high school peeps and discussing inane things as only teenagers can do. After the game, M sweetly gave me a piggyback ride to the car. I laughed so hard I almost peed down his back! We made it to the car, and set off for home.
As we were driving along the highway, we caught up with the big yellow dog (read: bus) that was carrying the high school band. D thought it would be an excellent idea to poke half of his body out of the sunroof and yell at his buddies on the bus. The police officer behind us did not think this was such an excellent idea!
Lights flashed. M uttered the immortal words "Oh ####, a cop". He pulled over, and the officer came to his window and proceeded to question us (using very foul language) as to what in the name of all that is holy we were thinking. Then he came around to my side of the car, opened the door, and said "Get out". 'Holy ####, I'm going to jail' I thought as I got out of the car. He walked me to the cop car, opened the back door, and said "Get in!". I got in, and started hyperventilating.
He came around the car, got in, and threw his flashlight through the bars of the police car. The bars stopped it from going all the way through, but he achieved his purpose-I peed a little on his fancy vinyl back seat. He said "What the #### were you thinking?" I said "Officer, I have no idea what you are talking about!" He said "You know #### well what I'm talking about! You were hanging out of the sunroof!" "Um, that wasn't me." I whispered. "Then WHO was it?" he yelled back. And just like that, I rolled over on my buddy D. "The guy in the back seat, Officer." "Hold on!" he snarled as he hopped out of the car.
He approached M's car, and ordered him out as I watched, eyes WIDE with horror. He instructed D to get out of the back seat, then proceeded to grab him and throw him against the car, frisking him in ways D could only wish a woman would have touched him. Then he grabbed him by the arm, dragged him to the police car, and threw him in. He then rounded the car, and let me out, ordering me to go sit with M. I ran like a scared rabbit, afraid for D's life, but happy to have escaped the mad man's evil clutches.
He screamed at D for a good fifteen minutes, ran our licenses and determined we were not criminals,ordered D & M not to be caught dead in the same car again, and sent us on our way.
I still pee a little when I see a police car.
1 comment:
ok..you are so funny!!! I love reading your posts, they brighten my day! Hope to see you soon!
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