I just finished a seven course breakfast for my seven year old. There was a souffle, a southwestern omelet, a stack of buttermilk pancakes, crispy bacon, toast with butter AND jelly, a small quiche, and an english muffin, toasted to perfection. Why, you ask? The ITBS, of course! (OK, it was really a scrambled egg, two strips of bacon, and toast with strawberry preserves...topped off by a granola bar and some orange peach mango juice)
**As a side note, I am an acronym afficionado. You will see them used well and often in my blog**
ITBS= Iowa Test of Basic Skills. This is one of those "you're kid's not smart if he can't pass this"-"let's pigeon-hole all of the kiddos by inane test scores"-"maybe we should start teaching to the test"-"our class's scores potentially determine our raises" type of test. Why the seven course breakfast buffet? Well, Mommy, the teacher says we all need to get a good, hot breakfast on the morning of the test. Apparently on an average day of learning, a poptart and a juicebox will do. However, on ITBS day, (emphasis on the BS) the kids need a hot meal to magically make them smarter so that they will do well on the test.
In effect, all this brainwashing does is stress out a seven year old. Last night he looked at me with big, worried eyes and and said " What if I don't do good on the test, Mommy?". I almost gave him a hand gesture that spoke volumes about my feelings on the test, but I refrained. Instead, I dredged up what I hope was a good response: "J, this test is just to figure out what you know and what you don't know. If you don't do as well on part of it, then your teacher will work with you to learn more." I'm sure this is a blatant misprepresentation of what will really occur, but it was the best I could come up with under pressure.
Anyone who says raising kids is easy should be soundly smacked.
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